The storm front

I'm standing on the edge of the storm,
I'm coming to an end,
The end of a life I thought I once knew.
And as I step off the cliff,
All I know is that I'm falling, and I'm failing.
That sinking feeling is consuming my bones,
And I'm drowning.
Sinking lower and lower,
Beneath the black, heavy waves,
As my so called life flashes before my eyes.
Wash away my tears, wash away my fears,
Thats all I ask of you...


Wrote that down in my phone when I was driving home, not sure why.

LIFE IN BLACK AND WHITE.

PHOTOGRAPHY WITH MEANING, SHOT BY ME, PHOTOGRAPHED THROUGHOUT THE UK.

Aint nothing but ;



Discipline in the dark ;



It's a long road from here ;



Life's but a walking shadow ;



Sitting, starring, alone, out the window of nothing ;



The worlds darkest hours always seem to happen during the day ;



Forever alone, but never giving up hope ;



Even when I'm in the dark, I'm still smiling, It's all I can do ;



The seat over there is empty, but I still chose to sit next to you ;



Destined for nothing and no-one ;



Never felt so small ;



Without you, I'm nothing ;



I'll never let go ;



Even when the worlds black, I'll still be able to see you

Welcome home sunshine

As flight QF32 from Singapore touched down into Sydney airport after being in the air for 6.5 hours, I felt a sigh of relief surprisingly.. I never expect to actually come home after a trip, purely because the paranoia of having a plane crash runs through my mind constanly, I even get to the point where I plan ahead, plan what my friends and family will do, plan what will happen to all my belongings after I've passed... It's a sick, sick feeling that I wish would go away, but I highly doubt this feeling that takes over my body every time I go away, will ever dissappear. I didn't wanna write about it while I was away, because it would make me not stop thinking about it until I'd feel physically sick. Even going on domestic flights, I won't feel as sick, but my heart will still race from takeoff till landing. I've realised, turbluance is one of my worst known enemies, my heart never goes so fast and my stomach never feels so sick when the plane experiences turbulance.
On a final note, all I can say is, I'm glad to be back in Sydney, safe and having that feeling out of my entire body, until the next time I jet off somewhere...

Everything is coming to an end

Emo blog, I wish I was in London, but I'm not. It's honestly so depressing how fast my trip has gone. I remember the day I woke up on the 22nd of july, the happiest I've been in ages, because I was getting out of Sydney, away from everyone and everything. Now it's basically over. I have one day of freedom until I fly back to the place I've always called home, but being in england, I've never felt so much at home in my entire life. The first day I got there, it was like I'd lived there for years, I just knew exactly where I was going around the stations and what exact trains and buses to catch without asking anyone, I didn't get lost once, I just felt right at home and it was strange. I've met some life long friends over there, England is filled with so many wonderful people, everyones so helpful and kind wheather or not they know you or have just met you. I think I've lost a friend too but I hope to change that (I don't know what I've done to deserve it...). I love the fact that you can sit on a plane for how many ever hours, and when you step off, you're in a completely different world. The smell is different, the buildings, people, scenary, the way people talk, act and dress, their lifestyles, it's just amazing.
I've been to my fair share of countries in my life, and I've been to 5 in one month, Thailand, England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales and Singapore (current location) and England was by far the best. Thailand was... not good, Ireland was beautiful and green, Scotland was almost like England, Wales was decent and Singapore is extremely clean and pretty, but England was just perfect and I can't begin to explain all the amazing things about that city. I would walk down Oxford Circus and I'd feel like I was right at home, although I was 12,000 miles from my real one.
As soon as I get home, I'm going to start planning my next trip there and hopefully aiming for May 10, I honestly can't bare to stay away, watching the plane take off from Heathrow Airport was like having a knife shoved through my stomach. It hurt, alot.
I'll post photos when I arrive back in Sydney, I have so much to show.

Current.

I'm currently in Chester, drove back from Bristol this morning. Spent 2 and a bit days with Ben. We went to a place that looked over Clifton Bridge and sat in the apparant heat wave.. which is actually winter weather in Australia haha. I was wearing all black and a jacket and he wondered why I wasn't dying already. It was good to branch away from my parents and just hang out.

I'm finally going to say this, I come back to Sydney in 7 days and I'm REALLY not looking forward to it. I just wanna see my friends, rage for a bit, give them their gifts and come back here :(

Im currently trying to upload photos to my facebook, so if you have me on there, lurk. I cant use this little laptop very well so It's taking ages <3

Driving

To Bristol, exciting.
Sorry about not updating much, It's hard cause I have so many websites to check!

:)

Being away

From home has made me realise who my real friends are.
Some of my supposed 'best friends' have spoken to me about twice since I left and really have no interest in talking. People I don't really talk too, talk to me more now that im away. The human race is still a mystery to me.
But I still am emailing melissa almost everyday with 5 page long emails, that's satisifying enough :)

I had a yogurt for dinner, and breakfast. Wanted jacket potatoes, didnt get them.
I've noticed, the U.K. likes soup, 3 course meals, buffet food bars, tea and coffee with everything, scones with cream and jam and KA cars. Even the dirtiest lad guys sound so posh with their accent, oh how I love this place <3

Well...

Drove from London to Leeds today. 5 hour bus ride included no music, vouge magazine, a bit of sleep and a random guy next to me. It wasn't fun at all.
I'm yet again at another hotel with a computer that won't let me upload photos... It's starting to get on my nerves, I have so many amazing things I wanna show.
I bought a new jacket today, the entire outfit I'm wearing is from London, very well spent money and I still have plenty left.
Update over, next week is the only week I'm looking forward too.

I've been away from the only place I've ever called home for the longest time in my life, yet I feel more home at here than I ever have anywhere else.

:)

Well.. I STILL havent found a computer that will let me upload photos, so annoying, I have so many amazing pictures. I'm currently in York in England, just spent 2 days in Scotland where I went to a Scottish dinner, went to Edinburgh Castle, saw bagpipers, and just hung around the city. Our hotel was right next door to the zoo but we didn't have enough time to go inside, they even had wolves there.. amazing!
Today I didn't do much, had scones and tea in York, hung around for a bit, saw some sites and I just had dinner. I bought an amazing bag yesterday and some new vans which were 30 pounds, happy purchases. Theres not really much else to update on, I just wanna upload all my photos already!

XO

Update!

Well.. I'm currently in Ireland, I've been to 3 countries in 2 days, England, Ireland and Wales.
First day we got to Heathrow airport at about 6am, felt like the afternoon. Got the train to Victoria station and walked 1 minute to our hotel. Our hotel was AMAZING. 500m away from Buckingham Palace, 5 star, looked like a real palace inside too. We sat for a while and relaxed then did a 2 hour bus tour around the whole of London, saw Big Ben, London Eye, Buckingam Palace, Picadilly Circus, etc etc. This computer won't load me upload photos but I have heaps. We got home from the bus tour at around 2pm, then 'rested'... that turned into a very long sleep and i woke up at 8am the next day haha. 2nd day I spent on oxford street shopping on my own, enjoyed myself, bought SO much stuff, perfumes, dress, stockings, socks, dvds, too much to name but it was a good day. Had lunch at a pizza hut resturant, beats the one on george street by far. Was gunna go to Madame Tussards but the line was 3 hours long. The next day we started the U.K. tour, drove to stonehenge, past windsor castle, went to the roman baths, hung around bath for 3 hours which was boring, then drove to our hotel in Cardiff, Wales. In the morning we went down the road to Cardiff Castle, did a full on tour of the whole castle and it fucking ruled, I LOVE CASTLES! <3 took a million photos inside, it was amazing. Then we drove around and went down to Pembroke for lunch, saw pembroke castle, was cute. Thennnnnn drove to the ferry docks to get the boring 4 hour ferry ride to Ireland. Got to Ireland, had a late dinner and went to sleep. Now I woke up, and I'm here now.
I wanna be back in London though, amazing amazing city, I don't wanna leave! I would gladly move here anyday, will start saving when I get home haha. Hopefully I'll find a computer soon which will let me upload all my photos so far :)

XO

Free hand sanitiser

My only material vice in Bangkok.
I get picked up from my hotel and fly to London in one hour, hurry uppp.
I wanna upload photos but they won't let me, ahhh my first photo post will be amazing!

XO

BANGKOK, DAY ONE!

Well.. the first place I got too was Bangkok (stop over for one night so the flight isnt so long), I'm currently in my hotel (5 star.. thank goodness) at the computers, this place wasnt really what I expected. Great shopping, lovely people, 711's absolutley everywhere (more than Sydney, a joke, I know), more taxi's than cars (seriously i can see 3 outside now), weird streets that have no ending , NO road rules whatsoever, it's basically do as you please on the roads, everyone saying hi to you in a kinda creepy way, people cooking food on the side of the street.. It's actually crazy at how cheap it is here, our cab ride today cost $1 australian, bought real Dior perfume for $18 australian, ah.. it's so hard to explain how different home is. I leave for London in a few hours, 12 hour flight, REALLY not looking forward to it.

On a different note, I did buy 2 flasks of Absolut vodka for $12, amazing, and also heaps of MAC makeup, duty free, you work wonders. Will post photos of my amazing purchases and Bangkok scenary when I have more internet time :)

Keep posted, xo

BAMBOO BANGA

Yeah, I'm knocking on the doors of your hummer hummer, you'll be hungry like the wolves hunting dinner dinner, and we're moving with the packs like hyena ena, barbarella look like she's my dead ringer, when I'm dogging on the bonner of ya red honda

Lyfe with a y update

toooooo much has occurred since my last blog post.
too put it lightly... my life has been so full on the last couple of months.
stopped being the VM at work, becoming a rap sensation (refer back to lauren and jacob, they hear my live shows once a night on msn), brisbane hangouts (too much to tell with that, but I'll add some photos which will explain the whole thing), boy issues (as always i seem to pick the assholes and the ones who fuck me over in the end, decent boys, are you out there?!.. I'm yet to find you apart from one, i think...), being legal (birthday night at hot damn was a shocker, gbh in my drink, gutter hangs, car rides when i had absolutely no idea where i was or even who i was), bad hair (Ive had the same extensions since misery signals, fuck), wasted nights (aka drunken nights) and wasted days.


so... my birthday at hot damn, there's only one photo from this night thankgod, i don't remember much and it was a pretty bad experience, but whatever, too many dramas that night. someone needs to shoot and kill whoever spiked my drink that night! ... good old passion pop alley way hang outs were a winner though.





so on the 1st of april, maddie, lauren and i flew to brisbane to party a bit more and see if brisbane life was better than sydneys... i prefer that place so much better. the actual brisbane holiday was not what i expected it to be, everyone else had so much fun but i had my mind set on a boy who ruined it for me. there were alot of fun parts and alot of new personal jokes were made, but my mood was always being killed by him because we kept arguing over immature petty shit. snitch was possibly one of the worst nights of my life and i never want to relive that again, and i went home early from thriller just because i wasn't siked on anything. Ive learnt, don't let dudes ruin your mood.. EVER. they arent even worth it!
but movie world was uh-mazing, screaming on the batman space spot before the ride even started, the scooby doo spooky coaster being fucking amazing ASSSS PER USUAL (didn't beat my record of 13 times in one day unfortunately), maddie and lauren running to get a photo with that austin powers dude, me getting everyone children admission tickets because of my middle part and sweet kiddy voices, FREE LOLLYPOPS, making friends with the togan kids in the line of the scooby doo ride, they loved us, GETTING OUR SCOOBY DOO PICTURE DELETED OFF THE SYSTEM BECAUSE I STUCK MY FINGER UP, hahaha, expensive fucking food, having more than 4 people stay over every night in the notorious 804, ~shopping~, that amazing sushi place next to queen street, queen street shopping every day, shitty train systems, having a rap off with jacob to the game (i won, of course).. whatever, theres way too many funnies to explain, but it was a good holiday reguardless of the person who killed my mood most days.

final note, heres all the funny/good photos from brisbane, enjoy! :-)